Weekend Update: Practice Makes Perfect

In order to stay fresh and on top of my writing game, every week on my blog I will post a few Weekend Update style set-ups and punch lines.  Your feedback is welcomed and encouraged.  If you laughed...awesome, let me know about it!  If you thought it was the worst thing you've ever read, and that is saying a lot because you've suffered through 50 Shades of Grey hoping it would eventually get better...awesome, let me know about it!

Headline Jokes for the Week of August 31

• <Photo of American Heroes> Three Americans were honored by France for stopping what was presumed to be a terrorist attack by a gunman.  <Photo of World War II D-Day> 60 years later, same story, new guys.
• A man in California is staying in his cement home while wildfires rage around him.  He plans to come out once he is done to around 350 degrees.
• Two Maryland men attempted to fly a drone into a prison to deliver porn.  Guards became suspicious when they heard this coming from the drone <play bad 70's porn music, such as this>
• New York City Mayor Bill deBlasio wants to ban topless women in Times Square.  When asked for a comment, 10 year old Jimmy Pascal from Oklahoma said, "Nah, it's fine."
• The Cubs recently won 20 out of their last 25 games, prompting fans to get ready for a major disappointment this season instead of the regular let down they are used to.

Again...let me know what you think by commenting below or using the contact  page to send me some mail of the electronic variety!