Early today, I received the following email:
I am interested in buying your high quality products. Kindly send me your specifications we would also like to inquire about the following:
*Your delivery time *
*Payment terms *
*And your products warranty*
Mr. Franz Weber
Maybe this is the opportunity I have been waiting for? Or maybe it is a spammer. I am going with spammer. Here is my reply:
Dear Mr. Franz Weber-
Thank you for your email about purchasing my high quality products. What specifications are you looking for specifically? Here are the details that I think you should know:
Product Name: xxxBox
Description: You've heard of the xBox right? The very popular gaming system? Well xxxBox is the soon to be very popular gaming system for adults. I can't go into the full details over email as it is pretty graphic, but let me tell you it is certain to please.
Payment Terms: The cost to produce the xxxBox is relatively cheap (around $17.89 per unit), and our manufactor's suggested retail price is $119.99. If you are looking to sell these products for us, we would be able to sell them to you for $50 each, leaving you to profit $69 per xxxBox on your end.
Product Warrenty: We stand behind the xxxBox for a full 90 minutes for all parts and labor. We feel it is more than fair.
Also, if you are interested in other products other than high quality ones, we have some others you might be interested in as well. These include:
Live Mouse, Dead Mouse A fun kids game for all ages where they can learn not only about mice, but also about life and death.
eyePhone 6 It is a cell phone that is implanted in your left eye. Reccommended only for those who are already blind and/or without a left eye.
Columbus Day Home Celebration Kit In honor of Christopher Columbus, this home celebration kit comes with a padlock you can put on your neighbor's house after announcing that you live there now, just like Columbus did.
Fire! This is simply a book of matches and an egg timer, where contestants are challenged to light as many matches as they can in under 20 seconds. I know it doesn't sound fun, but you should see the smiles on the six year olds faces when they play.
The three above products, to be completely honest, are of a much lower quality than the xxxBox. Please let me know if you are interested in the xxxBox or any of my other products.
Thanks for your email and time. Happy Columbus Day weekend!
HammerHill Gaming and Communications Corporation
Mt. Pleasent, Iowa
I will keep you posted with any replies. Happy weekend everyone!
Chris Thomas is a full-time teacher, part-time freelance writing, father of three, and most importantly, a very, very tired man.
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