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The World of Chris Thomas

Weekend Update - News Jokes

September 6 to September 9, 2016

9/7/2016

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  • Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson asked a MSNBC host during an interview quote "What is Aleppo?"  Donald Trump said it's disgusting that Johnson doesn't know the name of the size drink between Grande and Venti.
  • NBC turns 90 this week, and all they really want is for you to stop by and visit more often <<Graph on screen of NBC ratings dropping>>
  • An underage Amish drinking party was busted over the weekend resulting in the arrest of 73 people. Police were tipped off by a phone call from a concerned parent, which unless Mr. Healy and my 8th grade geography has failed me, doesn't seem possible.
  • A man in Kansas robbed a bank last week in order to be arrested so he would no longer have to live with his wife. Even though he was jailed, after meeting his wife the judge only sentenced the man to time-served.
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