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Weekend Update - News Jokes

September 1 to September 5, 2016

9/5/2016

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  • A Norwegian man complained to IKEA <<Photo on screen of shower stool>> after one of his testicles became stuck in their shower stool.  IKEA responded with these easy to understand directions <<Photo on screen on typical IKEA drawn directions with man in pain attempting to remove himself from the stool>>.
  • A homeless man was arrested this week after going down on a woman at a beach.  He told authorities that he was quote "A first responder doing his duty."  Apparently the woman was in desperate need of mouth to south resuscitation.
  • North Korea fired off rockets to coincide with the G-20 summit in China as shown in this video <<Home video of a toy model rocket launching, but barely​>>.
  • A road safety campaign in Russia is placing topless women at dangerous intersections holding speed limits signs in an attempt to  reduce high speed crashes and replace them with slower, more veer off the road while staring at breasts type of collisions. 
  • President Obama told reporters that Colin Kaepernick is just exercising his constitutional rights. He also expressed his appreciation to him for standing up to take American's minds off of what really matters <<Montage of photos of previous week's important news stories>>
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