May 19 to May 24

Nine people were hospitalized after eating contaminated nacho cheese from this gas station <Photo of Gas Station> in California. When asked why they purchased nachos here, customers stated Taco Bell just wasn’t dirty enough anymore.
 
A Tennessee man’s bond was set at 14-million dollars after he flipped off the judge and dared him to raise his bond.  He then said I bet you won’t give me a conjugal visit.  He did <Photo of Masked Man with whips and chains>
 
Ringling Brothers circus performed its final show last week after 90 years, but not to worry, because legend has it when one clown retires another always appears to entertain us <Photo of Trump in clown make-up>
 
It was revealed this week that Peyton Manning once sent an apology to a referee he chewed out during a game.  Peyton, a Papa John’s pizza <Photo of Manning in a Papa John’s uniform> isn't an apology, and might even more offensive.
 
A study released this week shows that older husbands who live in dirty homes are less interested in sex.  Finally the excuse you’ve been looking for ladies to stop cleaning.