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Weekend Update - News Jokes

Best of Spring 2016

7/11/2016

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  • Researchers at the University of California  - Berkeley are reporting that bromances are good for your health.  According to those same researchers, also good for your health is drinking beer, watching football and not seeing your wife on Sundays.
  • A 911 dispatcher was demoted for placing calls for help on hold to play video games.  You have one job. Phone rings, pick up call, help person, hang up, wait for the next call.  What could he possibly have been demoted to?
  • A British couple spent nearly $100,000 cloning their recently deceased dog.  This is crazy to me, because it’s just going to die again.  That seems like a lot of money to spend on being miserable.  Cleveland Browns season tickets would be way cheaper.
  • It’s official. Dutch driving instructors are now allowed to trade driving lessons for sex, giving new meaning to the words stick shift.
  • A man broke his leg while hypnotized at a comedy show in Omaha is now suing the hypnotist.  The case isn’t getting very far though, because when anyone says the words your honor, the man jumps from his seat, walks over to the nearest female and climbs on top of her.

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