August 8-August 13, 2016

• Hilary Clinton has opened up a 23-point lead over Donald Trump among likely female voters.  When asked for comment, Trump stated "So what?  Woman can't vote right?"
• In New Mexico, a 36 year old mother and her 19 year old son are facing jail time for refusing to stop their incestuous relationship.  When asked by family if she thought this was right, she replied "do as I say, not who I do."
• A recent study shows that more and more teens are experimenting with e-cigs than cigarettes, which is why the homely girl from your third period English class is now going by e-Mallory.
• New Jersey is considering passing a bill that would ban eating and drinking while driving. Governor Chris Christie has promised to eat the bill if it makes it to his desk 
• Delta Airlines stranded thousands of passengers around the globe after a catastrophic failure of their computer systems, but no one should be surprised after Delta released their new motto last week <<On Screen: Delta Logo with the words "You Had Other Choices">>