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Weekend Update - News Jokes

August 29 to August 31, 2016

8/29/2016

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  • Hashtag McChicken was trending this week after a man posted a video of himself having sex with a McDonald's Chicken sandwich.  <<Logo with "I'm Lovin' It" graphic on screen, pointing to it>> You know that's a slogan, not a challenge right?
  • Donald Trump traveled to Mexico to visit with President Enrique Pena on Wednesday, leading Mexicans to accuse the United States of not sending them our best.
  • Ryan Lochte has joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars and said he is going to treat the competition just like going to the Olympics, so you can't say you haven't been warned Hollywood gas station attendants.
  • Scientists have found evidence to support the long held belief that dogs do understand what we are saying to them. So if your dog pees on your carpet and you ask him to stop, he is in fact just being an ass <<bleep​>>.
  • The Oregon State Fair allowed marijuana to be displayed this year along side other more typical garden plants.  The first place plant was given a blue ribbon and a bootleg cassette of the Dead's 1967 concert from Portland.
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